Halloween Treats
by TheOtherMaddHatter
Summary: On Halloween night Jonathan Crane usually is out causing terror and panic in the streets of Gotham. So what is he doing at a local fall festival, and how much does he really love pork chops?
1. Apple Pork Chops

**Happy Halloween guys! This is just a short peice of fun for all of you Scarecrow fans out there. This is meant to be funny, so have fun with it! I only own the nameless woman, everything else belongs to DC Comics. So enjoy! **

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Days like this were the very bane of Jonathan Crane's existence. It wasn't that he hated the fall, quite the contrary actually. But it was the weather that brought about all the little hellions from their homes and school, and mix that factor with Halloween and you would get the scene that was laid out before him. Professor Crane loathed children with a passion that rivaled that of his love of seeing fear affect the human mind.

'They are always under foot and do nothing but cause mischief.' He thought dryly to himself. 'They are as useless as their adult counterparts, and they fear _everything._'

This train of thought was part of the reason for escaping where he was currently at. He sighed loudly to himself, exhaling a large amount of air with gusto. He tucked his scarf a little closer to his neck and face and continued walking down the sidewalk, neatly sidestepping a group of children in costumes.

"Watch where you are going you little heathens!" he called after them.

"Watch where _you're _going stick-man!" called back one of the boys in costume.

Jonathan just glared at the backs of the offending children as they scampered off, trying to keep himself from getting angry and causing some unaccounted for terror. He could not afford to get caught this early in the evening, not when the main attraction had yet to begin. Jonathan just smiled at the thought of all that unbound terror and panic that would flood the streets of Gotham later that evening.

'And they deserve no less than that.' Came his happy thoughts.

It was only a quarter to eight, and the festivities that he had planned weren't going to happen until at least nine or ten. He had decided that he would kill a little time by walking to the Halloween festival that was going on down town. He did love the fall foods and activities, especially apple cider and roasted pumpkin seeds. After all, he hadn't just chosen the name Scarecrow because of its emotional trauma that it caused him as a youth.

Youth, he would never admit to anyone, especially himself, that he had been a child. Children were loud and obnoxious, were he had been quite and shy. No, Professor Crane had not been a child, at least not by his standards. He never had the joys of going trick-or-treating, just the agonizing pain and terror that other children from school had dealt him. That alone was enough to make him bitter about the whole situation.

Jonathan had to drag himself away from that train of though fast, before he had a relapse and gassed someone. That would be a sure way to draw attention to him, and he couldn't afford that now. He continued to walk down the sidewalk and towards the food stands that were set up at the end of the street, catching a faint whiff of goodies that awaited him there.

He had just entered under the awning of the first tent when he spied something he hadn't had in ages. The booth, not unlike the other ones that lined the outer perimeter, had put out numerous displays of Halloween treats and candies for the public to gawk at. But it wasn't the colorful candies that had caught his eye, oh no, it was the tiny wrapped bags of pecans and caramel that drew his attention.

'When was the last time I had Praileen? I don't think that I have had any since leaving Georgia.' He thought vaguely.

He approached the booth cautiously and began looking at the other items for sale there. He was pleasantly surprised when he saw other familiar dishes being cooked there. Foods he hadn't had in ages called out to him from the slow cooker off behind the table, and he couldn't resist the delicious temptation of an apple pork chop. Jonathan decided that he could indulge in this unexpected treat.

Frantically he dug around in his pockets for his wallet, determined to obtain one of those wonderful smelling chops and a glass of apple cider. After he had located him wallet and counted the money it contained he approached the table and the woman that stood behind it. He noted that this woman couldn't be anymore than twenty five, and that she was busy preparing another southern style dish. Jonathan could barely contain his interest in what she was doing, and the woman noticed his watchful gaze.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked with a slight southern accent.

"Why yes you can. Would you might fixing me up with one of those pork chops and a glass of cider please?" he asked pleasantly.

The woman beamed and set down the food she was preparing.

"Why of course! I would be happy to get you one of those chops and a cup of cider." She took in his appearance and his stick like frame. "Do you perhaps want two of them?"

Jonathan thought about it for a while. He didn't get a decent meal very often and decided that he may as well get his fill while he still could. His wallet could certainly take it.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful." He replied.

"That is a good choice Sir. Part of your purchase money goes towards helping the patients at Arkham Asylum, and another part of it goes towards funding medical research." She chirped.

He paled, but came back quickly. He certainly hadn't been expecting that as an answer.

"Why are you giving it to those crazies?" he asked, playing the part. "They don't deserve the time of day."

She bristled and puffed out her chest.

"Of course they do! They are people to you know, and they deserve as much help as the next person." She argued back haughtily.

Jonathan was stunned, and said no more as he waited for his order. After a few minutes she handed over the food and drink and took the money he had passed her. She was in the process of making change when he spoke to her.

"I don't want the change Ma'am. Give it to someone who really needs it."

She fumbled with the change before dropping it back into the box. She motioned for him to stick out his hand. Her face contorted to another large smile as she reached down the table and picked up a small Halloween bag. She handed him the bag, placing it in his outstretched palm. He didn't even notice that the bag she had handed him was covered in little dancing scarecrows.

"Here Professor, take this along with my gratitude. I hope you like Praileen."

"I do like it actually, thank you." He said accepting the small bag. "I will enjoy this."

He turned and left with his goodies, walking back towards his lair. It wasn't everyday that you got homemade food and a warm welcome from the citizens of Gotham, and he was enjoying the change of pace. Not to mention the causes the money was going for. What better way was there to spend his money?

Jonathan reached his 'home' and sat down at the make shift table he had set up in the open room. As he was munching on his pork chops and sipping his drink he thought back on the pleasant encounter from earlier. He gazed at the little bag that contained the sweets, which he had placed in front of him. He noted that the bag was covered in tiny scarecrows and corn stalks.

He sat happily chewing on his food and thinking back to his encounter with that pleasant woman. Suddenly he choked on the food that was in his mouth, and proceeded to cough. A realization had just hit him full force, so much so that he had inhaled the food in his mouth down the wrong pipe.

'Did she call me Professor?' he thought distressed.

"My God, she recognized me."


	2. Did You Just See What I Saw?

**This story was only supposd to be one chapter, but I felt that a second chapter would only add to the fun. SO this is what you get fom me. Jose and Kandace are mine, everything else is DC Comics. Happy Halloween! **

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The evening had started off just like any other business night for Jose. She and her best friend Kandace had set up their stand in the corner nearest to the opening of the tent so that they would get all the incoming traffic. They were trying to support a cause, like they always did, and decided that this was the best plan of action.

They had been set up for well over two hours when she had run out of the bags of caramel. She ducked under the table to look for more, but couldn't find the extra box she had packed. Sighing she turned towards her friends.

"Hey Kandace, I forgot the extra box of caramels. Do you mind running back to my car to get them?"

"No problem Jose. Do you think you can hold down the fort without me for a while?"

"Of course, I will be fine until you get back."

And with that Kandace had taken her keys and walked off in the general direction of her car, leaving Jose all by herself. She didn't really mind being left alone; after all it was only for a few minutes. Jose sighed lightly and began checking the table for other goodies that had been depleted since their arrival. She noticed that someone had bought the last ear of grilled corn, so she retrieved the ingredients from the cooler and got to work on making more.

Jose had only finished about six and a half ears when another potential customer approached her. Smiling Jose looked up at the man, noticing how thin and pale he was.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked politely.

It took a minute for the man to reply back to her.

"Why yes you can. Would you might fixing me up with one of those pork chops and a glass of cider please?" he asked smoothly.

Jose's smile grew ten fold as she set down the corn and spices that she had been using a few minute before.

"Why of course! I would be happy to get you one of those chops and a cup of cider." She looked him up and down, taking in his thin frame once more. "Do you perhaps want two of them?"

God, it sounded like she was trying to force food down his throat. She winced and backed off, trying to seem less forceful and more concerned. Jose certainly didn't want to offend him, and she certainly didn't want to scare him off. She was sure that she had done just that when he answered.

"Yes, that sounds wonderful."

"That is a good choice Sir. Part of your purchase money goes towards helping the patients at Arkham Asylum, and another part of it goes towards funding medical research." She explained.

She and Kandace had thought that this was a good choice of charity. They always donated most of their proceeds to someone somewhere, but this issue was to close to home to ignore.

Jose hadn't thought that there was something wrong with what she said until he paled. She might not even have noticed this had he not responded so harshly, and the words he chose raised a red flag to Jose.

"Why are you giving it to those crazies?" he asked. "They don't deserve the time of day."

No one talked about the rogues that way, not unless they _wanted _to die a horrible death. Jose knew by these few words that this man had to be one of the infamous Gotham City Rogues. But which one was he? She had never really paid attention to the news when they caught one, and had subsequently never looked at their mug shots. She was determined to find out exactly which one he was.

At his statement she pretended to bristle up and defend the rogues, just to see what his reaction would be. She wasn't disappointed.

"Of course they do! They are people to you know, and they deserve as much help as the next person."

A look of shock ran across his face and he said no more. He waited in silence for the food that Jose was preparing for him. She couldn't understand what she had said, or why he looked so stunned that she cared. It took her a moment to realize what information she had discovered.

'That was it! He was the Scarecrow!' she thought triumphantly.

She finished up preparing his order, making sure to give him the largest chops that she had, and handed it to him gingerly. He handed her his money and took in a deep breath, taking in the smell of the food. Jose was preparing his change when he spoke up, stunning her.

"I don't want the change Ma'am. Give it to someone who really needs it." He said quietly.

Jose couldn't believe it; the Scarecrow had just donated money for their cause! She couldn't help but smile and give him something extra for his donation. Quickly she spotted a bag of Praileen down at the end of the table and reached for it, all the while gesturing for him to stick out his hand. After she had grabbed the bag she knew was decorated in tiny scarecrows, she handed it to him carefully.

"Here Professor, take this along with my gratitude. I hope you like Praileen." She said sweetly, remembering that he had been a former professor.

"I do like it actually, thank you." He said accepting the small bag. "I will enjoy this."

Jose watched the retreating form of the infamous Professor Jonathan Crane with mixed feelings. Weren't the rogues supposed to terrorize and kill people? Then why had he been wandering around the festival, and why had he stopped and _bought _food from her when he could have simply taken it? All of these questions raced through her mind as she stood there.

"Hey Jose, are you all right?" came a voice.

Jose jumped a few inches and spun around fast, trying to defend herself from an unwanted attack. She was surprised to see Kandace there with her keys and a box of caramels, a startled look on her face.

"Oh, Kandace, it is just you." Spoke Jose slowly.

"Who else could it have been?" came Kandace's snippy reply.

"No one I guess." Was her lame reply. "And I am fine, just a little bit jumpy."

"How come?" Kandace just wouldn't drop it. "Did something happen while I was gone?"

"No, nothing happened Kandace, nothing happened." She said smiling.


End file.
